Carnation Fields
by Midnight Blackbird
Summary: Never before she allowed herself that pleasure. Feelings. Love. The greatest gift is to love and to be loved. And she was wasting it. 'Violet and Blue' sequel.


**Carnation Fields**

A Violet and Blue sequel.

Boring author stuff: you can read this even if you didn't read 'Violet and Blue', but I recommend you read that first.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ryo and Rika, sadly, but true. 

So that's it. Reviews are appreciated, people! ~MB

-x-

Once again she found herself lost. Alone.

Even though she had someone to talk to, she didn't.

She didn't want to experience emotions so powerful, so pure. But she could see them on the horizon, waiting, lurking.

Never before she allowed herself that pleasure. Feelings. Love.

The greatest gift is to love and to be loved.

And she was wasting it.

Rika gazed into the sky. So endless, so blue. She remembered another blue.

Those beautiful orbs of endless blue that made her so lost.

And then he would find her and tell her that he holds her.  
And she would never be lost again.

The redhead sighed, lost without him in her thoughts.

-x-

*flashback*

''Did you enjoy it?''

The brunette asked as he sat on the bench. Rika smiled and sat into his lap.

''Of course I did. I enjoy every moment with you, Akiyama.'' He put on his trademark grin and his eyes glittered.

''I'm glad to hear that. Maybe this conversation will turn okay after all.''

The violet orbs fixated on him and stared in confusion. Ryo just continued grinning, never taking his eyes off her face.

''C'mon Rika. We've been dating for almost three months now.'' She agreed with that in her thoughts, but didn't know what he meant by that.

Suddenly he kissed her softly. Her hands went up and got strangled in his hair. He pulled her even closer as he broke the kiss.

''You are a very good kisser, Wildcat.'' She blushed and that made him laugh. Then Rika glared at him and his expression changed to pure tenderness. He reached for her face and stroked her cheek. She shivered from his touch.

''Rika Nonaka, I've wanted to say this from the moment I met you. I'm crazy about you. I'm willing to sacrifice everything just to impress you.''

''You did once.'' She murmured, remembering that time when he was willing to sacrifice himself to save everyone, including her. And in the end, she had faith in him. And maybe that was what made him survive.

''Ah, that is nothing compared to this Pumpkin.'' He said secretly.

''I'm convinced that I've earned your trust. I just can't keep these feelings to myself, Rika.'' His skin turned crimson as he tried to find the next words.

''Are you blushing, Hotshot?'' He smiled, but that smile was bitter.

He kissed her again. He tried to prepare her for what was coming, so he put all his passion and care in that moment, in that kiss. As they parted once again, even before she opened her eyes, he whispered.

''I love you.''

Cold blades sunk into her skin. She was frozen. Never before had anybody said that to her.

She wasn't ready. Not yet. The betrayal stung her still, and she wasn't ready to love any man, or boy, or even him. She just couldn't. She slowly opened her eyes and got lost once again.

In those blue eyes that belonged to the man that loved her.

''I'm sorry.'' She whispered and she quickly rose and started running.

''Rika!'' She heard him call after her.

She tried not to feel guilty.

She tried not to feel at all.

But she did.

And she ran into the darkness of the night, hoping that it will banish all her worries.

-x-

Ryo was looking around the next day. Still no sign of her.

'What did I do wrong?' He asked himself. The betrayal pierced through his heart.

'Maybe she doesn't love me? Maybe she never did.'

Ryo Akiyama was not used to rejection. Never before was he rejected, if that was this was called. Girls had always wanted him and he could choose between them.

But he had given his heart to her, the cold Ice Queen.

And last night she returned it, broken into thousands of pieces.  
But the worst thing was, she was the only one who could put it back together.

He didn't have the strength, the will, the power to do it.

A blonde girl approached him.

''Hey there. I'm Ashley.'' He raised his gaze to her. Yeah, she was pretty alright.

But she didn't have the violet eyes that he loved so much, nor the red hair. He could see that she was not a natural blonde, either. Her black eyes sparkled as he was examining her.

''So, I was wondering, are you free tonight? We could have the greatest time together.''

And she definitely didn't have that shy personality that could melt into rage in the heartbeat. But, the same girl that could change so fast broke his heart.

And this one was offering herself for a replacement.

Ryo Akiyama was a womanizer after all.

-x-

She cried all day.

It was not her style, but the emotions wouldn't let her go. She locked the door and broke apart.

''He loves me.'' She whispered to herself.

Or to the shadows that had been her friends for so long.  
Or to someone who understood her.  
But she was gone, trapped in another world.

She put her arms around her knees and stared into the blackness.

She stared into the carnation she received this morning.

Pink, red and striped.

She knew that red meant 'My heart aches for you.'. But the other ones… She was curious so she googled it.

Pink meant 'I'll never forget you.' 

And striped ones… the realization was a razor blade.  
'I wish I could be with you.'

The lump in her throat called tears to surface. She immediately knew who sent it.

''Ryo.'' The sound of his name ached on her lips.

The phone rang. Maybe it was him. With that thought she ran to the phone.

''Hello?''

''Rika, I'm so glad to hear you. Where have you been t'day?'' A girl's voice, cheerful as ever.

''Jeri, I wasn't feeling so good,'' If she talked for a while, maybe she won't feel so empty, ''so, what happened?''

Jeri talked and talked and Rika sometimes smiled. But the smile vanished soon enough.

''… You know that Ashley? One-seventy five centimeters, fake blonde, the smile so sweet that your teeth rot and eyes so black that they are basically evil?''

Yeah, she knew. And she had a bad feeling about it.

''She was so hitting on Ryo today. And he just stared at her. Like he was depressed or something. The rumor is they are going to hook up t'night. Rika, is something wrong with you two?''

A stab of pain into her already bleeding heart.

''Jeri, I have to go.'' She just said that and hung up.

Another wave of tears reached her eyes.

She ran away, far from the house, far from everyone.

She needed time to think.

*end of flashback*

-x-

He was walking through the streets aimlessly that night. His legs led him into the Shinjuku park.

He wanted to cry, but the sorrow was too much for tears. It was eating him inside out. He was collapsing. Because of a woman.

Ryo sighed. He didn't accept the blonde's offer. It should make him feel better, but he refused it.

He wasn't going to betray Rika. He was going to fight for her.

A sigh. He remembered the night they first kissed. It was on the hill nearby. He didn't want to go there, but something was calling him.

His heart was pulling him there.

'Happy memories,' he thought, 'can't hurt.'

Oh, how wrong was he.

-x-

''I love him.'' She whispered. The night was listening, but not answering.

She was sitting in that spot they first kissed. The view was quite different now.

The government decided that they should invest into green areas. So Shinjuku park got its own flower field.

And that flower was, what an irony, a carnation.

So she found herself looking into that colorful, even now, in the dark, field.

Carnation fields.

Memory hit her hard. She fought with tears and gazed into the sky. If only she had a father who loved her. That she wouldn't be such a screw up.

''And I wouldn't scare away the one I love. I wish he could listen to me. I wish I could say how much he means to me. I wish I could say to him that-''

The tears finally won and started rolling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and stopped denying her feeling. She did that for so long. She locked herself into an emotionless shell.

But now… She broke apart. She felt so cold, so alone.

And then the warmth wiped her tears away.

And the same warmth took over her, pulling her into the hug.

-x-

''So, Wildcat, you thought you could get rid of me so easy?'' A voice said with a hint of mockery. The lips brushed her ears a second later.

''You can't run away from me, because I won't give up on you. Do you know why? Because I love you with all that is left of my heart.'' She heard the sadness in his voice.

''I broke it, didn't I?'' she kept her eyes closed, but she could feel him turn.

''You did. But it still calls to you.'' Oh, how was it painful, the guilt.

''How can you still love me? I'm a horrible person. I hurt you bad, dammit.'' She opened her eyes slowly, afraid of what she might see. But she saw him, grinning.

''And yet, it returns to you. Do you know why?'' He put his palms on her face and wiped away the rest of the tears.

''No.'' She murmured.

''Because it's yours. It will always be. I know you Rika. I can see through that cold shell you built all those years ago. And I thought I could break it. I still think I can.'' Hurt was now visible in those ocean eyes.

''But I guess you won't let me.'' She kissed him. It was a kiss filled with salt from her tears, and with sorrow that was heavy in his soul.

''I will tell you a secret.'' She whispered.

''You already broke it. With your love. And I know I've hurt you. I've just been so scared, you know. Of rejection, of pain. I felt unwanted for every day of my life since my father left. And I'm asking myself why didn't he want me. Maybe I just wasn't good enough.''

Ryo froze over that sentence.

''You are better that him Rika. I can't imagine what kind of man would leave his beautiful daughter like that. He is not worth your tears.''

Rika stared at him.

Nobody said those words to her. Ever. And besides, she never told that to anyone. Why was this blue eyed brunette different?

'Maybe because he loves me. Maybe because I-' She stopped that thought. I was meant to be said out loud.

''I'm not worth your love. But I know one thing.'' She took a deep breath.

''I love you, Ryo Akiyama. I love you with all my soul. I wish I could repair you heart.''

He grinned and brushed his lips on hers.

''You already did. I love you, too Wildcat.'' She blushed in anger.

''I told you never to call me that again, Hotshot!''

''But Pumpkin, I love when you blush in anger like that.'' He pulled her closer and rested his forehead on hers.

''Rika, I wish we could be like this forever.''

''I wish that, too.'' She whispered. He sucked air in his lungs suddenly and put something in her hand. Her gaze fell on the gift.

A red carnation.

''You know, this is our flower.'' He whispered as he put in her hair. The contrast was lovely.

''Ryo, thank you. Thank you for not giving up.''

''You're worth it Rika.'' She buried her head in his chest and gazed to the stars.

''Thank you for not letting go.''

''Not my style. And not a chance.''

He had decided. He would never let her go, this woman who gave him his trust.

Rika's trust was not easily given. But could be so easily lost.

He stroked her hair gently.

And in that moment she admitted to herself that she needed somebody.

That she needed **him**.

-x-

Some wounds heal immediately.  
Some wounds take several months to heal.  
Some take years.

And some never heal.  
The scars remain for eternity.

And those scars make us who we are.

And for some wounds you just need a little bit of love.

They say time heals all wounds, but I think love is the magic behind.


End file.
